book snob? moi?

Hearing on t'wireless that a third of British adults have lied about reading a 'high-brow' book to appear more intelligent. Being unable to resist my natural urge to show off, I rushed to find out more. Today really is a good day for smugness, as I find I really have read the top ten books on the list. Hah.

Top Ten Books we other people apparantly lie about reading:

1. The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R Tolkien
Well of course I've read it, and the Hobbit. Several times. And yes that is several times before the fillums came out. Another year or 2 and O will be having the Hobbit for his bed time story. Interesting tho that everyone apparantly wants people to think they've read it, before the fillums came out most people pointed and laffed at you if you admitted reading Tolkein. Geekchic really has arrived.

2. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
Yep, read this one too, only a couple of years ago. It was a bit of a marathon, and more of a 'because it's there' read than something I adored, but I kind of enjoyed it. Although I can't believe most people tell everyone else they've read it?

3. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Read the book, seen the fillum, got the single. It was one of my a-level set texts as it happens. I remember thinking I wouldn't enjoy, then not being able to put it down. Haven't read it for years, tho. I'm really more of a Janeite than a Bronte fan - can't be doing with all that running round the moors in your nightie. I still say Heathcliffe was Mr Earnshaw's bastard, why else would he bring some weird kid back from Liverpool one day? I also have this interesting theory about Thomas Hardy's .... oh you've just seen someone over there you know and have to rush off? oh OK

4. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - John Gray
OK I confess, I've only read about half of this twaddle. Because it's twaddle. If you were trying to impress me at a party by telling me you'd read this, you'd fail. Now if you told me you'd read How Mumb-Jumbo Conquered the World, that would impress me.

5. 1984 - George Orwell
You mean everyone else didn't spend their teenage years reading Orwell and Huxley and getting all angsty about dystopian futures? Shallow bastards, probably out having fun while us sensitive souls worried about jackboots and human faces in our bedrooms. Mind you, the more I read about the role of Stalin in the Spanish Civil war, the more I realise why Eric Arthur hated Stalinist communism quite so bitterly.

6. Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone - J.K Rowling
Got my copy of number 7 reserved already. Hurryuphurryuphurryuphurryup

7. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Read it, love it. Used to be my favourite Dickens' but that's now between Bleak House & Little Dorrit

8. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Yep, but see above for general comments on Brontes.

9. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
Read it, it's awful. Dreadful pish. Carboard cutout characters in plot-by-numbers 'thriller'. I am certain I shall never see a Dan Brown book lovelier than a tree. Even an old dead dutch elm disease infected rotten blasted stump.

10.Diary of Anne Frank - Anne Frank
Another "you mean everyone else didn't spend their teenage years crying over this?" one. Seriously, you must have read it?