Tuesday, January 31, 2006

where did she go?

When I was in London last week, I used a tube station I haven't been to for years. Took me back to how I was then, and who I was waiting for - the person I thought was the Love of My Life. Actually, he probably was and a little corner of my heart will always belong to him, but he was never interested in me, when I got up all my courage and asked him out I got the 'like you as a friend' routine.

But the main thing I remember is how scared I was. Back then I think I was scared of everything, scared all the time. I know I still get scared of things now, but I'm not scared of my whole life, like I was back then.

So it got me thinking about my life, and the way everything's turned out. And so did going back to studying chemistry. I feel a little silly and a little regretful that I didn't learn this stuff properly when I had the chance, the first time round at university. But then I think, if I'd've stayed and got my degree and got a job and a mortgage and a husband, I'd be going quietly insane in some suburban hell.

Instead I got thrown out of university, had a twisty turny life path, met some fantastic people, learnt a whole load of stuff, go policitics, and most importantly I got R & O. So now I go noisily insane in cyberspace bwahaaahahahahahah.

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