random things I would do if I had a hundred million pounds:

- employ Gordon Ramsay to be my personal chef (paying him huge piles of ££ to overcome his hostility to vegetarianism) and cook me delicious meals that are so lovely I don't even notice I'm on a d**t. Nigel Slater will do the cooking on Gordon's day off

- bring Mr Hopeton Overton Brown over to set up my sound system and work with me to make even more ££ producing a dub-based slendatone type thingummy (oh and Jude, the Scientist he say "Dub is the part of reggae where the engineer manipulates what the musician put on tape to achieve different textures")

- buy lots of bikes,including a Thorn tandem

As I am listening to Time Boom X De Devil right now, I would also like to once again state the bleeding obvious and remark that Lee Scratch Perry is completely barmy. Genius but barmy. Genius and barmy.