Went swimming tonight. For some reason only half the pool was roped off into lanes, ie half as much 'proper' swimming space as usual. It was nice to see the Manchester and District Ladies' Slow Breastroking Club (incorporating the The More I Splash The Faster I'll Go Gentlemen's Freestyle Association) out in force and fully demonstrating their motto Lane Discipline Is For Other People. Hats off to them for the nochalant disregard with which they regally swim 3 abreast in each lane, untroubled by the 'please swim anti-clockwise' notices. Why use one lane for swimming slowly in when you can use all 3? I know that Marjorie also admires their dedication to style and beauty, particularly the way the ladies never fail to apply fresh make-up before entering the pool, and the gents annoint themselves with aftershave, giving other pool users the joy of swimming through slicks of Brut. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

Actually I'm not a swimming snob, really I'm not. Some people swim slower than me and some people swim faster than me. S'OK. It's thoughtless selfish lane hogging bastards I can't stand. And I'm not just in a bad mood because I can't master lesson one of Total Immersion. Not at all. Grrrrrrrrr.