bear with me ...

... while I get myself back in gear. The first half of last week was OK but then it all went down hill. There was the party, which was kind of to be expected, but that's not the real problem. The real problem is I've been bingeing again. I felt crappy when I got up this morning, which I suspect is due to the amount of crap and salt and sugar and additives I've ingested in the past few days. Unsurprisingly I haven't lost any weight this week, although I haven't gained either. It's a good job I've kept up doing some of my exercise, at least.

I'm back trying to be 'good' today, but I'm not sure I've got the energy. Feel quite 'bleurgh' in myself today. My 'problem', if it is a problem, is this. My priorities for my health are:

1. stay sane
2. stay stopped smoking
3. lose weight/get fit

So, if I start to feel a bit wobbly, the 'eating right' part is the first thing to go, closely followed by the exercise. Which is stupid, I know. Logically, I know I feel much better when I eat good food and get regular exercise. But it's not a question of logic, it's all about emotions and my emotions are fairly fecked up. Ah well, I will just keep trying to do the best I can. Which will better some weeks than others.

Maybe I should learn to eat like a French woman? Cos obv that story reflects the experiences of all French women and not just the kind of smug upper middle class ones that smug upper middle class Sunday supplement journos come into contact with. And so what if they admit "most French women smoke instead of eating". Being thin is way more important than emphysema or lung cancer, obv. Gawd how I hate the attitude of smug Sunday supplement journos that everything is so wonderful in France and so dismal in blighty. Smug feckers.

a pune or play on words (with associated gratuitous pandas)
panda bears bear with me: