random things I would do if I had a hundred million pounds:

- employ Gordon Ramsay to be my personal chef (paying him huge piles of ££ to overcome his hostility to vegetarianism) and cook me delicious meals that are so lovely I don't even notice I'm on a d**t. Nigel Slater will do the cooking on Gordon's day off

- bring Mr Hopeton Overton Brown over to set up my sound system and work with me to make even more ££ producing a dub-based slendatone type thingummy (oh and Jude, the Scientist he say "Dub is the part of reggae where the engineer manipulates what the musician put on tape to achieve different textures")

- buy lots of bikes,including a Thorn tandem

As I am listening to Time Boom X De Devil right now, I would also like to once again state the bleeding obvious and remark that Lee Scratch Perry is completely barmy. Genius but barmy. Genius and barmy.

Turns out my sound card hates me. Or hates windoze**. Whatever, anyway turns out it was sound card/sound card drivers that was taking over my computer and making it run all slug like. Only took me most of the weekend to find that out.

Well OK most of the weekend I didn't spend fitting new brake blocks to every bike in the house, repotting my seedlings, listening to dub with the bass set to teeth rattling levels (well if my neighbours insist on playing music at levels that I can hear when I'm outside my own flat, I don't see why I can't listen to my own music when outside my own flat) and generally sitting round in the sun. But hurrah it is fixed. Well sort of fixed, in that my puter works but the sound is not so good and sounds muddy ... I may have to take a screwdriver to it yet.

And double hurrah for O learning to ride a bike without stablizers. He's only 4 and a half. Huge glow of parental pride. He learned to do it on Wed, and has been pedalling furiously ever since. When I was at the bike shop getting new brake blocks (fairly pointlessly in the case of O's bike - why use brakes when you can use your brand new 30 quid a pair shoes?) I got him a dolly/teddy seat and a new water bottle. Awwww.


** cor look at me i say windoze instead of windows I told you is 7l77t h4x0r d00d

oh ffs bad new blogger layout bad bad bad
wrote a post and thought i'd published it and it's gone. feck.

Summary of lost post:
- not weighed self
- eaten lotsa crap
- reformatting hard drive any minute now

Didn't weight self this morning - overslept and forgot in the rush to get up and get going. Plus it wouldn't've been pretty anyways - far too much eating of junk this week. I have to decide whether I want to get serious about d**ting again ...

My puter is still playing silly buggers so I've decided to reformat it's hard drive. "That'll learn it", as my in-house tech support (for which read: person I bug on msn when my puter acts funny) remarked. Too right will learn it a lesson. Don't mess with me or I'll reformat your ass. Ha.

So anyways may be gone sometime while reinstalling everything. TTFN.

Didn't weight self this morning - overslept and forgot in the rush to get up and get going. Plus it wouldn't've been pretty anyways - far too much eating of junk this week. I have to decide whether I want to get serious about d**ting again ...

My puter is still playing silly buggers so I've decided to reformat it's hard drive. "That'll learn it", as my in-house tech support (for which read: person I bug on msn when my puter acts funny) remarked. Too right will learn it a lesson. Don't mess with me or I'll reformat your ass. Ha.

So anyways may be gone sometime while reinstalling everything. TTFN.

Weighed self today and am down another 1 lb, which is better than nowt I s'pose. Still doing better with exercising than with eating right. Went to belly dancing last night and did our first bit of 'veil work' ie waving scarves about while dancing. The room was packed and my scarf has a beaded fringe so I was a bit worried about having someone's eye out.

My puter is running like a slug and I can't work out why so another weekend of attempted techiness beckons. If I can fit it in between taking the wheels off of every bike I can find (we did wheel removing at bike maintenance class and I want to practice) and going for a bike ride which may or may not involve hills. Cycling up hills bad bad bad but gotta be done somtime I s'pose.

long time no blog cos I broked my hard drive (don't ask) but now I am back and feeling all smug cos I installed a new hard drive all by myself hurrah I'm such a l337 h4xor.

Diet-wise, things could be better. I have been calorie counting some days and binging a bit on others. I put back on half a stone but have lost a couple of pounds of that - mainly due to exercise I think. Have been doing some bike riding and started going to bike maintenance classes (advance warning: bike geekery may be forthcoming - I've been spending worrying amounts of time coveting shiny things from bike catalogues - so far the budget has stretched to a track pump but not a Dawes Galaxy).

ummm .... diet not going so good, in fact diet not happening at all right now. I have some Other Stuff I have to deal with and sadly I don't seem to be able to deal with it without carbs'n'fat. Me bad, I know. Hopefully normal service will be resumed within the next week or so. And at least I've given up the nicotine gum hooray but that is making life a little more stressful for me.

Smoke-free since 1st Feb 03 - completely nic-free since 11 Feb '04
I have not smoked for one year, two months, two weeks, four days, 12 hours, 43 minutes and 50 seconds.
11088 cigarettes not smoked, £2,217.44 saved to spend on books instead of paid to evil death dealing tobacco companies.
Life saved to spend with new books: 5 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, 0 minutes.

Bad things about visiting My Parents .... as already mentioned, my mum keeps the house well stocked with Bad Things (despite her and my dad always being allegedly on diets). If I don't eat them, she goes on about it. If I do eat them, she looks disappointed in me. See, my parents have always been on at me about my weight, for as long as I can remember. When I was a teenager, prob size 14 - 16 but very active (playing hockey, swimming, etc) they were on at me to lose weight. They've stopped Going On About It now, but I know what they think. I can tell by the way my mum as of always asking 'have you lost weight?' in a hopeful tone of voice. Course now I have actually lost some weight she doesn't feckin mention it. Feckin parents. And she still gave me a feckin easter egg ('just a little one') despite me telling her not to. Feck.

So yes I did eat too much chocolate and assorted crap. My Easter has been somewhere between being totally good and being terribly bad. Mainly good with patches of bad.

My sis gave O Finding Nemo vid instead of an egg. We have watched it every day for the last 4 days (we saw it at the cinema too). My new hero is Dory

I joined my first fan listing. I would explain why she' so fab but I can hear the video starting again so gotta go ......

Lost 3 lb this week, not reached my 'mini-goal' but that's not surprising because of the weight I put on last week. At least I've lost that 2lb and another 1 too yay.

We're off to my parents for the weekend. My mum will have house full of chocolate biscuits, creamy desserts, crisps, butter, chocolate, etc etc. I will just have to sit next to the fruit bowl all weekend.

We now have 2 filing cabinet drawers full of choccie eggs. 1 drawerful is O's and 1 for giving to various kids. Actually mostly those will be exchanges, so we will prob have the same net amount of choc come Sunday morning. I can hear it whispering to me ........

On the plus side, I cycled to town to get the eggs, so I've got some burnet calories banked. Hmmm ....

oh dear it's starting. The Easter chocco fest begins, as an egg arrives in the post for O this morning. First of many no doubt. Everyone I know who is likely to buy me choccie eggs, is under strict instructions not to. But they are still going to be showered upon my 4 yr old. Plus this afternoon I have to go out and buy stack of them (fair trade, natch) for various kids. The house will be full of chocolate. Heeeeellllppppppppppp mmmmeeeeeeeee ....

I've given up on FIAFI for now. I don't wanna sit quietly thinking bout stuff, I wanna eat crisps! Not very constructive, I know, but not feeling very constructive right now. Am doing my best to stick to the new 'don't eat too much crap and keep doing exercise' plan. Went for half hour bike ride last night, after O was in bed, cold and windy but the full moon was beautiful.

I have switched to reading Ray Mears' Outdoor Survival Handbook. I love Ray. My ultimate reward, if I do get myself to my target weight, is going to be a Woodlore 'Bushcraft for Beginners' Weekend. I will be queen of the birch-bark cup makers.

OK I have to face the fact I have ‘issues’ ™ with food, and that when I’m unhappy, depressed, whatever, I want to eat and eat and eat (and at the mo I am feeling quite low). So what to do? I could ignore it, grit my teeth, summon up an iron will power and vow never to eat more than 1750 cals a day ever again. Yeah right. I have the will power of a small slug with no will power. I could think feck it all and give up dieting and go on being fat and ‘happy’. Except I’m not happy being like this (on top of all the other unhappinesses I’ve got that manifest themselves as desires for Pringles).

So, what I think I’m going to try and do is … just do the best I can and not beat myself up over things going wrong sometimes. I will keep up the exercising, and will aim to eat sensibly most days, and keep on weighing myself, and see what happens. May not be ideal but it’s an improvement on what I was doing before.

I did do some exercise today, in fact I feel like I did a whole week's worth. Missed my Thursday belly dance class so went to class at diff venue, went by bike. 1 hr dancing plus 1hr 10 mins bike riding adds up to 1,230 cals burned and very very sore legs. Oh and I went swimming yesterday too but that was crap, only 20 lengths, my excuse is my stroke was all over the place hahah.

Hah. The FDA has written to the magic fat busting miracle pill pushers telling them to stop it

"These products give unfounded hope to people who are attempting to lose weight," Acting FDA Commissioner Lester Crawford said in a statement. .... The Web sites have 15 days to respond to the agency and outline their plans to remove the claims. If they do not, the FDA can seize the firms' supplies, impose fines and take other enforcement actions.

Good. Sue the arses of the bastards.

in other news: I wish to apply to marry Ali Slimani

for he makes rai dub fusion wooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo. I love you Mr Slimani and wish to have your rai-dub babies.

put on 2 lb. bollox. more l8r ....

confession time: I been bad. Bad bad bad. Bad gurl. I've had a couple of binges over the weekend that I umm 'forgot' to mention. I've never really thought about it much, but I spose I've always had a problem with fits of binge eating. And then when I was stopping smoking, I gave myself permission to stuff my face instead of smoking. So far my subconscious has not cottoned on that that permission has been revoked.

The solution to my problems is unlikely to be found at the bottom of a family sized bag of fat'n'carbs, but part of me wants to keep looking just in case. So last night I decided to re-read my old copy of Fat is a Feminist Issue. Which is a slightly weird experience, it's so long since I read any 'feminist' literature, yet it felt like I spent the second half of the 80s reading little else. Also I don't seem to 'fit' into the model she's working with, I haven't spent most of my life on diets. Then again ... if you asked me if I'm happy with my body I'd probably say yes. But if I am, then why do I hate having my photo taken so much that I go out of my way to avoid it?

I do think it's probably right that we have to love ourselves as we are before we can successfully lose weight. If we hate ourselves (for whatever reason) and have been used to dealing with unhappiness and fear and all bad feelings by eating, then we can't ever lose weight successfully. Once I've finished FIAFA, I'll prob read Shelley Bovey's book (thanks Jude for telling me about her). So expect outbreaks of diet/feminist/well-meaning-gruaniad-reader politics from time to time, apologies in advance.

Well, the eating programme may still need some work but at least the exercising is back on track. Went to aqua-aerobics tonight. It's good exercise and I enjoy it, but the music is a trial. This week it was Now That's What I Call The Greatest Nineties Album In The World Ever. Or something. Hammer Time! Bad. Though it did remind me of two of the funniest things ever - Mark Lamarr in his MC Hammer trews interviewing MC Hammer on the Word and Bill Hicks' suck Satan's cock routine.

If there really is such a thing as "Irritable Desk Syndrome" and it's true that "cluttered desks make workers ill" I should be dead by now. Wtf is a "deskologist" anyways? sounds like money for jam.

Weather was nice today so we cycled to a local park, where even the goat is on a diet. Large signs all over the goat space forbid the feeding of crisps, cake and bread, the goat is allowed only fruit and veggies. So we gave him some carrots (after O had taken a few bites out of them first) then went to climb things and play football etc. Too healthy all together, so had to have apple pie with cream for pudding to make up for it.

My new favourite song is Aiysha (Aicha) by Khaled. Another of our belly dance teacher's faves and it has grown on me so much, I've been going round singing it to myself (all two lines that I know the words to), but I knew nothing about it. Hurrah as ever for the lovely google which as well as providing the lyrics, got me to this interesting article on Rai music and Berber poetry. Good music with subversive and feminist tendencies, sounds like the genre for me. Next stop, The Rough Guide to Rai

gosh i burned up 0.19 deep fried onions with sauce on my bike ride this afternoon

housework is, always has been and always will be, bad. However it makes it a teeny bit easier to get through it when you find out that by doing cleaning (multiple household tasks, moderate) for 1 hour I've burned 351 calories wooo. Hurray for calories per hour, I love them so much I'm gonna side-bar them

weighed self today, total weight loss = 0lb. This is good and bad. Good because immediately after last friday's wine-pasta-chipbarm happenings, I had put on 3lb. Bad because of course I shouldn't've succumbed to the chip barm etc and also cos I have been lax about doing exercise this week, I've really only done one walk and a belly dancing class. Must Try Harder!

hooray today is thursday. this means grauniad life/online (science/puters) section. first 2 bits I always read bad science and ask Jack. Got top tip from Mr Jack t'other week bout how to get rid of all that hidden info ms word sticks into your documents.

blah blah blah having a sh*t happens kind of day/week/life and feeling all blah blah blah

blah
ick
bah

Right, I'm gonna get me some mini-goals. I'm feeling like the novelty of losing weight has started to wear off, always a dangerous stage for me to get to. So maybe if I have something to work towards .... ? Might work.

Mini-Goal 1 (weight loss): achieve total of 25 lb lost ie 10% reduction from original body weight. Why 10%? Cos I've read that a 5 - 10% weight loss gives "significant health benefits". The mathematicians amongst you may quibble that 10% of my start weight is actually 24.5 lb, which is true, but asda seven quid 'smart-price' scales aren't so accurate. I spose I should set a date for it too ... hmm ... ok I hereby create a mini-goal of weighing 220 lb (15 st 10) by .... (extrapolates graph) ... 3 weeks time ie 9th April.

Mini-Goal 2 (nrt): ok so I need to get off the nrt. At the moment I get thro about 5 2mg lozenges a day. I will aim to taper off by 1 a week ie 4 this week, 3 next week, and so on, so I will be off them by 16th April. omg that's scary waaaah

Right I will stick those in my side bar so I don't accidentally on purpose forget about them. waaaaaaah heelepp what am i doing eeepppp.

ah bollox to it, cracked and bought some nic lozenges bugger it.

in other diet news: ummm ... time for confessions and excuses ... confession is that this morning I had a crunchie bar. And yesterday morning I had some crisps. Me is bad. Also I haven't been keeping up my eating records so don't know exactly how many cals over budget I've gone the past few days. Excuses: I finally finally stopped taking nrt, having taken them for months longer than the manufacturers say I should. My safety net is gone waaaaah /me scared. Now I need eating replacement therapy lozenges.

More on the healthful properties of Play Doh (tm). It's non-toxic and fat-free (tho it may not be suitable for people trying to follow a low-carb way of eating - i understand lo-carb play-doh may soon be available in the states, tho). Play Doh is soooo healthful it's endorsed by George Forman whaay haaay.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. O made me breakfast in bed (with some help from daddy). My favourite was the play-dough pancake yumm. We still didn't get a bike-ride, wind was still pretty gusty, so we went to park by car instead. I had nice brisk walk round park while R supervised O in the playground, then we fed thte ducks, then made it home before it started pishing down again.

Oops, over-spent on the calorie budget yesterday. Work meeting adjourned to the pub and rather a lot of red wine was drunk - after spending several hours discussing marketing, we felt all dirty and David Brenty, we needed the booze to wash us clean. Too much drinking led to too much eating - on top of the cheesey pasta bake I'd had for lunch, I ended up having a chip barm on the way home (it was late and cold and dark and I had to wait for bus and I was bit pished). Mmmmmm carbs.

Ah well today is another day etc and I'm doing not bad, hurray, except that the horrible windiness outside means we've put off a bike ride to the park. Staying in and defragging my hard drives while reading about bike riding instead. Which has brought back vague recollections of having promised to do a copy of Senor Coconut for Kraftwerk-loving colleague.

Weighed myself this morning, cos I won't be here tomorrow (gotta go away over night for work). I lost 2lb, meaning that I've lost a stone and a half (21 lb) wooooo. Gosh.

ahem last few entries have turned this into clazza's what i'm listening to right now blog, soz bout that, I don't suppose anyone else wants to read about what a fantastic album Scientist Meets Bob Dylan at Dub Station would be if someone made it, do they?

So back to diet stuff: a recipe for wot i had for tea last night ie tagliatelle with green beans and cream is here @ MarjChat, and who knows, mebe some other diet types will ad recipes gosh wot diet fun. Diet going OK-ish sorta. I haven't been able to get doing much exercise this week but am trying to do 20 mins walking each day, at least.

aksually I've just remembered it was probably reading this this morning that put me in a Bob state of mind. Bob in a reggae stylee, can't wait.

I don't know wtf is happening with the music chip in my brain. After all this time listening to dub, suddenly I am wandering round the house singing to myself "my love she speaks like silence, without ideals or violence" etc and to my shame it's been so long since I listened to much of Bob Zimmerman's ** stuff that I had to google to find out the song is actually called Love Minus Zero. Well OK I could've got up and gone downstairs and looked through the vinyl to find that out but hey I'm a 21st century kind of gal, why get off your arse when you can google it? And that's the other thing that shows how long it is since I listened to Bob, most of my stuff is on vinyl, and our turntable packed up a couple of years ago and still hasn't been replaced, and I haven't missed it. Well I've listened to some, obv, the ones I bought on cd to replace the over-played casettes people made me when I was a student. Yes I was that student cliche, staying up all night listening to Bob Dylan and changing the world. Have never given up on the trying to change the world bit, and have now rediscovered the Bob too. Hurrah.

One major disadvantage of me getting re-Bobbed (apart from people having to listen to me singing along) is that it doesn't encourage me to get up and boogie while listening. There's a few cals I won't be burning every day. Ah well.

** that's what Bob Dylan fans like to refer to him as to show how kewl and knowledgeable we they are

Fighting the Comfort-Eating Demons: Plan A
When the Demons attack, have a Nice Cup Of Tea first. Cals in Cup Of Tea = 0 (well OK there's the milk but that comes out of my daily milk allowance and so is counted already) and there are no biscuits, cakes, whatever in the house for me to be tempted to have with it. Having a nice warm drink might be enough to drive away the Demons. And if it's not I can always run to the shop for biscuits hahahahahah umm sorry that should read I can always eat a nice piece of fruit.

bother. reading Jude's journal I realised I've missed the Observer Food Monthly and with it, the god like genius that is Nigel Slater. Booo. No point going out in cold and rain to find one now, even if shops not all sold out there's not time to read it all - still got half of yesterday's gruauniad to get through yet. There are disadvantages in sleeping through Sunday morning.

my new diet plan: sleep in all morning, get up, have breakfast at lunch time, no need for lunch.

Things that are bad: reading first book of a trilogy (re-reading the His Dark Materials series) then not being able to find the second book even though you know it's in the house somewhere. I've looked everywhere else, so it must be lurking in The Great Library Under The Bed.

Why did no-one tell me that the Upsetter himself had done a series of tv ads for guinness? Hatstand barking wibble wibble hilarious utter genius.


dub dub dublin

while googling unsuccessfully for an on-line source for the ads, I discovered the mighty Black Ark have an on-line radio station. Internet radio is surely the greatest invention known to person-kind.

just listened to repeat of last night's Archers. The One With The Gay Kiss. Adam and Ian snog. Bless.

cor. I lost 1 lb. How did that happen? Maybe eating crap and doing no exercise is the route to weight loss after all? Hmm. Better not push me luck, I spose.

in other news: in order to try and improve on my current 'I don't know much about dub but I know what I like' situation, I did a little googling and found nice Jockey Slut approved (so it must be waay cool woo ick) bluffers guide to dub with top compilation tape suggestions an ting.

not looking forward to weighing myself tomorrow. I haven't done much exercise this week and haven't been that careful bout what I've been eating, either.

I'm bored of my breakfast. Every morning I have 2 weetabix with s/s milk and a banana, plus half a pot of black coffee. Thing with weetabix is, it's easy to know how much you're eating without having to weigh them. Have you ever weighed out the 'suggested serving' amounts for cereals? Usually 40 g or 50 g. Just about enough to cover the bottom of a bowl. I don't believe anyone actually eats that little cereal in one go. Or mebe I is just greedy hah.

somehow I have rather lost it on the diet front in the last few days. I blame the peanut butter. I realised last week that pb was doing bad things to my diet (ie by whispering to me from the cupboard all day long that just one little piece of toast with pb wouldn't hurt or maybe even 2 or ... ) so we agreed not to buy it anymore, and to find other ways to get nuts in our diet (eg nut loaf), nuts being important for protein and essential thingummies. However we had a vegan visitor staying overnight on Saturday, so we got some pb for him to have on his toast in the morning (well, see, we know he likes pb and there was no point getting soya marg cos we have big tub of sunflower marg already and umm anyway look we had to get pb ok) and now that pb is whispering to me from the cupboard again waaaa ....

more bad diet happenings: somehow managed to drink half a bottle of red wine last night instead of the 1 glass I meant to have. Ah well, it was friday night.

more good dub happenings: King Tubby's Meets Scientist at Dub Station and Dubwise & Otherwise Vol 2. I am also after a copy of Reggae for Kids. O loved Trojan Christmas, so I think he'll love kids songs in a reggae stylee too.

got leaflet at swimming pool the other day about the Zoggs Swim 4 Fitness site. There are 4 levels, depending on your level of fitness and swimming skills, and how much time you want to give to it. It gives programmes to follow to improve fitness and swimming skills, and the first 2 stages give lots of breaststroke options - this is good, because many programmes assume everyone is a competent free-style swimmer (although the first programme starts at 16 lengths, so you need to be a reasonable swimmer to start with). Anyway, I might try out one of them, probably 3 for "improved cardio-vasucular fitness".

I went to bellydancing last night, which was fun but depressing. Depressing because I stood at the front for some of it, and the class is held in a proper dance studio thingy with full length mirrors covering the whole wall. I didn't much enjoy seeing the full horror of my wobbly bits wobbling in time (sort of) to the strains of Tarkan. I console myself by thinking how much worse it would've been before I lost 18 lb, and how much better it will be when I've lost some more lb. But it is feeling like a long haul now, the thought of how long it will take me to even get my weight out of the 'obese' category and become merely over weight is quite depressing. Oh well, onwards and thinwards.

Other news: my new favourite radio programme Lively Up Yourself on BBC 6 Music, presented by Brinsley Forde. I love internet radio.

Yes, people of a certain age, Brinsley is him from Aswad who was Spring in the Double Deckers.



I loved Tiger best


I am showing my age now hah.

Weigh in day today and I have lost 2 lb whooo!

Today has been a bit better on the D*et front. Haven't eaten too much junk and have been to aquarobics hurrah.

hurrah for norton system works for it has fixed my registry without me having to do scary stuff like regedit hurrah.

oh ffs. having sorted out my 'firewall won't let outlook get my email' problem (by uninstalling and re-installing my firewall, clever, huh?), now outlook itself is playing up and keeps asking me for password over and over and over and microsoft say I have to mess with my registry settings aaaargh.

just when I thought nothing could get me more cross than the pill pushers advertising at the top of my blog ..... just when I am stressing about comfort eating, some fecker thinks it a good idea to advertise co*kie baskets. FECK OFF. And they're called b*sc*its btw not c*okies. Feckers.

Decided to go swimming in the end. And it was good, ended up doing 40 lengths, which is the most I've done in a long time. I went in planning to do min 24, but was 'in the zone' so decided to go for the 1km. I must start going swimming regularly again, cos usually I enjoy it. One thing that is not good about swimming is swimming hats. I know I look feckin ridiculous, fat girl in cossie with purple condom on head. But it's that or have me hair cut short. Ho hum. I bet Alex Popov doesn't worry about this stuff.

In other news: I give up reading the Iliad. I'm not in the mood for Great Classics of World Literature (tm). Re-reading John LeCarre suits me much better right now.

The Comfort Eating Demons are out in force this week. I feel like I just want to eat and eat and eat and eat. I have to keep telling myself that no matter how much I eat, when I'm like this, however much I eat doesn't really make me feel better. Maybe I need to do some excercise? I will maybe go for a bike ride later and then see how I feel.

Today's "research findings state the bleeding obvious" feature:
report says stressed women drink more
report says diets put you in a bad mood
like, :dur:

Comfort eating is doing for my diet at the mo. I feel stressed, I feel down, I wanna eat. It helps a bit not keeping much junk food in the house, but there's always a way to make a bit of fatty junk when you want it. The diet books say you should eat fruit or drink water or summat but it ain't the same, sometimes you just really really want fatty/stodgy/sugary stuff. I need a plan for dealing with it, I suppose. Like telling myself that the food doesn't change anything, the stuff I'm stressing about will still be there whether or not I snack. OK well I'll try telling myself that but have no great hopes of it working.

gave up trying to fix puter and went for jolly family walk instead. Would've been more jolly without 4 year old whinging all the way. Anyways puter is working properly again after restoring it to some time in the last century. Now just gotta solve the 'firewall won't let me have my email' problem.

Things that are fun: teaching a 4 year old belly dancing moves to the strains of Postman Pat.

aaaargh my computer is playing silly buggers. Running slow as a very very slow thing. CPU usage is always between 75% & 100%, even with no applications running, and there's nothing in the processes list that seems to be using a lot of system resources. I panicked in case it was my CPU over-heating but it was exactly the same after the computer had been turned off over night, so I don't think it can be that. I've system restored to days ago before this started happening, I've run spy-bot, ad-aware and norton anti-virus - nada. I am now running on-line virus scan. And if that don't help I don't know what I'm going to do.

More diet research. The BBC reports that "solo diets are no way to lose weight", and apparantly women who diet with a support group are less stressed than women dieting on their own. They also say that women dieting in groups are less likely to put the weight back on. I'm not entirely convinced - they only studied the women for 8 weeks. And I would quite like to know who funded the research (cynical, moi?). However it does say you don't need to pay for a slimming club and can form a support group with friends or family. And of course there's always the interweb.

Weighed myself this morning. Have lost 0 lb. Booo. Could've been worse, at least I haven't put any one. Must Try Harder. Hmm.

I've had enough of trying to get wiv da kids and their modern popular music. Bored with all that stuff now. I've come over all dub. Dub albums wot are [insert appropriate words here to make me look like I know ghetto speak iration babylon etc] good:
Dubwise and Otherwise from the Blood & Fire Audio Catalogue
Dread Meets Punk Rockers Uptown - legendary Don Letts' selection of legendary souds from the legendary Roxy Club where legendary punk legends like Joe Strummer used to go. Legendary.
King Tubby Meets Rockers Uptown - classic dub album from the King of Dub.

and I expect the Trojan Dub Box Set will be joining the WMP Non-Stop Dub play list before long, soon as I get a copy.

skankin'

Forgot to weigh myself this morning. There was a tiny bit of snow so O was in mad rush to get up and get dressed and get out in it, so what with that and his attempts to re-create the prevailing weather conditions in the bathroom with talcum powder, getting on the scales slipped my mind. Will try and remember to weigh myself tomorrow. (I try and always weigh myself first thing, before breakfast, for consistency).

Went to belly dancing last night which was fun and hard work. I am finally getting the hang of it, well some of it, and can even manage to co-ordinate arm and leg movements for some steps wooo I'll be getting a jeweled navel next heh.

forgot to mention that I did do some exercise yesterday. Rather than get the tube, I did some walking round the streets of London (all together now... so how can you tell me you're lo-oh-nley...), probably about 30 mins worth in all. Incidentally popout maps are fab. I use the central London one a lot, to see if things are walkable. Going everywhere by tube does rather distort one's view of London's geography.

not a Good Diet Day yesterday. Had to go to stressful meeting, overslept so no time to make sarnies (note to self: make sarnies night before in future). Bought shop sarnies with lotsa cals - it's really hard to find veggie sarnies that are not calorie ladened, they all egg mayo or cheese etc. That's my excuse. What my excuse is for the snacks I ate too or the egg & chips I had for me tea is, I haven't worked out yet.

But good news, I finished W&P at last, tho I will have to go back and read it again in a few months - I did 'skim' some the war bits, sorry bout that Mr Tolstoy. I have now started on Homer's Iliad . I know this all makes me sound like a bit of a literary ponce but I'm not, honest. It's partly cos I want to plug some holes in my reading and mainly because Books Etc are having a bogof offer on Penguin classics.

Rondette's house of frippery

Rondette found this: PawSense is a software utility that helps protect your computer from cats. It quickly detects and blocks cat typing, and also helps train your cat to stay off the computer keyboard. I need it. Flippin' cats.

Quite a good weekend, both life-wise and diet-wise. Went to Science Museum on Saturday for net meet with the Reds and the Pauls, which was fab. I used to hate the idea of meeting net people in rl, now I love it. Didn't do much on Sunday - tried to go swimming but the pool was shut for a water polo tournament.

Today has not been such a good day. Feeling a bit stressed and low and resorted to comfort eating ie mini cheddars & chocolate buttons. Boo. 350 cals and still feeling stressed. Bah.

Hurrah! I am re-appointed Fat Fighter of the Week, for I have lost 2 lb. Wooo hooo!

I guess it must have been the walking (and the belly dancing last night) plus the avoidance of puddings, that done it.

Marjorie’s Tip For Today: Painless (relatively) ways to save calories

* Cook with heavy, thick-bottomed (preferably non-stick) pans – that way you can use less oil
* Avoid frying if you can – grill instead
* Use less oil for cooking eg if your recipe says use 2 tablespoons of olive oil, try using 1 instead (this usually works well, particularly if you use heavy pan)
* Try using One-Cal spray for frying things like veggie bacon – I don’t usually recommend ‘diet’ products but this one really works, and it means you can have fried eggs wooo hoooo
* Experiment not using butter/marg on sandwiches, toast etc. If you use a ‘moist’ spread/filling eg hummus, you probably won’t miss it. And ‘bulk up’ your sarnies etc with salads & veggies
* Try making sarnies with tortillas. You’ll be less likely to butter them, and they taste like fancy sarnies from the shops, but with less cals (if you leave out the mayo, dressing, etc)
* Don’t put dressings on your salads. If you use stronger tasting salad leaves you might not even miss it. Or try using just balsamic vinegar, or lemon juice, or lime juice.
* Use stronger cheeses (eg parmesan, mature cheddars) that give you more taste for your calories, so you can use less of them
* Promise yourself to never ever drink sugary fizzy drinks again. If you can’t resist them, drink only the ‘diet’ versions
* Don’t automatically put butter on your veggies – try them without, you might even like it! If you can’t resist having butter, at least use less
* If you do sometimes use butter, keep it in the freezer (cut it into small pieces before freezing), so you aren’t tempted to spread it on toast, bread, etc

The BBC reports fairly depressing news that most diets don't work. "Just one in every 100 people who go on a diet succeed in shedding weight permanently." And this is despite the fact that people in Britain paid over £10 billion to the diet industry last year.

"Independent market analysts Datamonitor, who conducted the research, says that the diet industry is guilty of raising expectations unrealistically." Too right. They sell us quick fixes and easy answers, but do they really have an interest in us losing weight long-term? After all, if we do lose weight and keep it off, we won't need to pay for their books, magazines, clubs, diet foods, etc, etc etc any more.

As another BBC report puts it "with research suggesting 95% of slimmers regain the weight, does the diet industry rely on our failure to make its profits?"

When I were a lass, my mum used to tell me that women have to suffer for beauty. Usually she said this while I was protesting at her burning my face as she curling-tongued my hair into a Farah Fawcett flick (look, it was the 80s, OK?). Now it turns out she was wrong. It seems that if we have nice wads of money, we can pay for other women to suffer for our beauty for us. According to the gruaniad, Vickie Bekham et al pay up to two grand for 'real hair' hair extensions. The real hair has to come from somewhere. "My extensions come from Russian prisoners, so I've got Russian cell block H on my head" quipped Vickie. Oh how we larfed. As, presumably, did the Russian prisoners and asylum inmates forcibly shaved to provide them. I hope she got her mum to use the curling tongues while the hair was still on another woman, too, saves her any discomfort.

umm. and the alcohol. i forgot to mention the alcohol. oops

Marj has demoted me, I am no longer fatfighter of the week.

oh dear. Last week was so not a good week. I averaged around 2000 cals/day, did no exercise (except one belly dance class) and so put on 1 pound. boo.

This week will not be much better, I suspect. We were away for a long weekend, lots of eating out, not good. I tried to be a bit good. I didn't have cooked breakfast (I have always loved staying in B&Bs and having a fried brekkie in the morning, particularly when they get veggie soz 'n' bacon in for you yummmmmm). The B&B we stayed in was lovely (Wild Cherries) - Sue the Landlady gave us fab breakfasts of cereal, fresh fruit salad, toast, hot x buns, croissants (I declined the buns and croissants but O & R enjoyed them).

We ate out for all our other meals, and I wasn't as good as I could've been about my choices for meals. I did manage to resist having puddings too, tho, which I feel quite smug about. I also managed not to eat lots of choccie and crisps and crap on the long car journey there and back, which is another improvement on my previous behaviour.

Did get some exercise while we were there - walks in the grounds of C's college, in an ancient yew forrest and at the coast, as well as games of footie in the park.

An interesting series has started on BBC 2, Diet Junkies, looking at the diet industry, how big business exploits concerns about obesity to it's own advantage, and how in spite of the millions spent on diets and diet products, the western world keeps on getting fatter. Last night's was about diet gurus like Atkins, Weight Watchers etc. The contrast between them and the NHS "eat less, exercise more" diet approach was interesting. Big name diets promise you miracles if you follow their rules. We don't want to think that losing weight is as simple, and yet as potentially hard, as eating less and doing more. We want miracles and easy answers. But there aren't any, really. Any diet that works comes down to consuming less cals than you expend. Even Atkins, according to Horizon the other week, seems to come down to that, the latest theory being that protein makes you feel fuller so you eat less. Next week's Diet Junkies is about meal replacement products "linked to the deaths of over 50 dieters". BBC2, Tuesdays, 8pm.

whoo read jude's journal read it read it read it for it rocks.

Oh dear, this has not been a good week, diet wise. I have eaten at around my maintenance calories most days, rather than nearer my 1500 a day target. And I haven't done much exercise, either. Didn't go to aquarobics last night, cos I went to see the rather marvelous Eric Schlosser promoting his new book. Must must must make myself go to belly dancing tonight, at least.

We're off for the weekend tomorrow, visiting C in Sussex. Not, I repeat, not, a valentine's day romantic thing omg no. I don't want to buy my emotions prepackaged from Hallmark, thank you very much, nor do I want any over priced red roses, grown on the other side of the world with water stolen from local people. If you love someone, you don't need a special day to tell them. And equally, giving someone a tacky card and a box of chocs doesn't make up for treating them like sh*t for the other 364 days of the year. Valentine's Day Bah Humbug!

Marjorie's Tip For Today: For Valentine's Day

Some cynics like Clazza don't believe in Valentine's Day. She is just bitter and twisted; real romantics like me love it. However a word of advice - if your beloved buys you a big box of chocs for Valentine's Day, poke them very hard with a very sharp stick.

To avoid having to do this, tell them in advance that they had better not buy you big box of chocs or else. The people close to you should be thoughtful and supportive about the fact that you are losing weight, not go waving temptation around.

You will note I say big box. If you want to have some choc, a small box of chocs may be OK, if you fit it into your calorie budget. And if you must have chocs, may we recommend buying fair trade?

came across another calorie counting site today - Calories per Hour. It looks good and is free (although it is American so concentrates on American foodstuffs and uses American measurements - cups etc). Also useful, you can find out how many calories you use doing different activities. And it's not trying to sell you anything, unlike most calorie and diet sites (tho not the Mighty Marjorie Dawes natch)

oh dear I fear my new jeans are a little too snug. Went to newsagents this morning with a fiver tucked into that little pocket you get inside front pocket (watch pocket I think it's called?). And then I couldn't get the fiver out. Eeep. Luckily nice man let me have my grauniad anyway and pay him next time. How embarrassing. And I haven't been a good girl about my diet this week, either, so not much chance of them being less snug in the next few days. Oh well, onwards and thinwards.

Much excitement, today I re-partitioned my hard drive and re-assigned the drive letters whoooo (thanks BR for telling me the difference between logical drives & primary partitions, and general geeky hand-holding). And all done with only diet cola for comfort, not a choccie bar in sight.

Jude found this fabby site for making your very own fat dolls. Awww.

Marjorie’s Tip For Today: Reward Yourself

Give yourself rewards (NOT FOOD! I REPEAT – NOT FOOD!) as you make progress, perhaps for every stone (or half stone) you lose. Maybe a new book, cd (if you buy them hem), hair-do, clothes, cinema trip – whatever you like (as long as it's NOT FOOD).

And promise yourself a really really good reward for when you hit your target weight. Clazza wants a weekend with Ray Mears. But she is odd. You might prefer something nice instead.

omg. o.m.g. O.M.G.
I needed some new jeans, my old ones have got 'fashunable' *koff* rip in knee. Decided to try some cheapo ones on in Asda - if I can fit into a size smaller than I was when I started this diet, I'll buy a pair, I thought. Tried them on - didn't fit - too big!!!!!!!!! Tried on the next size down, they fit, OMG! OK so they are a little on the snug side right now but I mean like omg I dropped 2 (or is it 4? I get confoosed?) sizes in a month. How kewl is that??

oh dear. bad cheese. bad bad bad shouting at me from the fridge and making me eat it. hmm. at least I not put butter on the crackers (butter lives in freezer these days). Calorie budget blown again today. And that was before the extra glass of wine to celebrate Lord Brocket getting chucked off IACGMOOH. hah.

Marjorie’s Tip For Today: Write It Down

The only way to keep track of how many calories you eat each day is to write down everything you eat, how much you ate, and the calories in it. Get a little note book (the Paperchase sale is good for getting cute ones cheap like Clazza's) and use it to keep a record of everything you eat. Add up the calories as you go along, so you have a running total for the day and know how many you have left. Also, make a note of any exercise you did that day. This is what a page of Clazza's book looks like.

You could do it on a computer (and there are some websites that let you keep your records there) but that's only any use if you have a pda or laptop. Otherwise, you won't be able to writ everything down straight away, and you'll forget things (accidentally or accidentally on purpose). Trust me, the old fashioned way with pen and paper is better. And the batteries never run out.

Be honest when you write things down. Like your dad always told you, the only person you,re cheating is yourself if you "forget" about that extra slice of toast, mars bar, can of coke, whatever. No-one else has to see your book. It's for you, and it's only any good to you if you're honest.

Meal went well last night, and I don't think I blew my diet too badly (tho I had to guestimate calories eaten and drunk). Sadly all of the applewood smoked cheddar didn't get eaten so I will be forced to eat it all myself shame shame.

Usually we try and go for family walk on Sundays but we're being wimpy about the wind today and just going to the park for a bit instead.

having people round for a meal tonight, so my calorie budget for the day is gonna go rather over drawn. I'm trying to keep the calories to a reasonable level (eg Delia's low fat white sauce on the lasagne). But it's still gonna be a bit of a blow out, esp with all the wine I plan on drinking. Ooh and there will be pudding, which will make a change from muller rice and/or fruit.

Marjorie's Tip For Today: How Many Calories In …. ?

For packaged foods, look on the back of the pack. You should see calories (and fat, carbohydrates, protein etc) per 100g listed. Often they will also give the calories per ‘serving’. Watch out, cos this can be misleading. What you think of as a serving and what the food manufacturers think are often not the same thing.

You will also need a calorie book, like the Calorie, Carb & Fat Bible. This lists the calories of just about every food there is. You’ll need it to look up the calories of non-packaged foods, and for those times when you throw away the packet before looking. You can often get smaller calorie books free with slimming mags – not as comprehensive, but handy for taking with you when you go out and about. You can also look up the calories of foods online at sites like Weightloss Resources.

Marjories's Tip For Today: Get Some Scales

You Need Scales. You really do. Actually you need two sets.

One for weighing yourself. Some people prefer not to weigh themselves at all, instead checking out how well their clothes fit. I think that might work if you don't have much to lose, but if you have a lot of weight to lose you are going to have to weigh yourself. You can get basic bathroom scales from Argos for about seven quid, or if you want to splash out you can pay more for fancy digital ones that work out your body fat and/or look kewl in your bathroom. Resist the temptation to weigh yourself every day - once a week (or even once a month) is better. If you really don't want to have scales in the house, some people prefer to get weighed at a slimming club or at the gymn.

You need a second set for weighing your food. Cheapo kitchen scales start from three and a half quid in Argos, or again you can pay more for flashier ones to suit your Home Front inspired décor. Whatever, if poss I suggest you weigh your food in metric – it’s easier to do calculations in metric, and most manufacturers list calories per 100g (as does the Calorie, Carb & Fat Bible).

Oh and you need a set of kitchen measuring spoons too, makes measuring small quanities of stuff way easier.

Weigh in day today. Lost 1 lb this week (average cals for week = 1674/day). I knew that my rate of weight loss would slow down after the first couple of weeks but can't help feeling a little disappointed. Must keep reminding myself that 1 - 2 lb a week is the best rate of loss to aim for. I'm also hoping, with the exercise I've been doing, some of my fat has turned to muscle. Certainly some of my clothes feel looser, and I had to get a belt to hold a couple of pairs of trousers up. So things are moving in the right direction.

So. Belly Dancing. Not just any old belly dancing mind, this was Tribal Belly Dance with an Edge apparently. A new experience. Very much a free your mind and your ass will follow experience. My mind has a long way to go and my ass further yet.

I saw a poster for it at the leisure centre and decided to give it a try, partly because it looked fun, partly because I know I ought to do more weight bearing exercise (good for the bones) but mainly because when I told my sis I was thinking of trying it she said I must, just think what fun I can have belly dancing on tables when drunk.

For me it was better than a conventional exercise class because you don't need to buy any exercise clothes or trainers, and the music's way better than the usual crap you hear pumping out of 'work out studios'. It was also interesting how mixed the class was, I imagine more diverse than your usual work out crowd. I enjoyed it a lot, tho it's gonna take me a while to get the hang of it. I think I need to put Terry Hall & Mushtaq on and practise in the living room.

Weigh in day tomorrow (Friday). Hmmm.

Marjorie's Tip For Today: Set Your Calorie Budget

To lose weight, you need to consume less calories than you use. That is the basis of any diet. So, you need to work out your calorie budget - how many calories a day you can eat and lose weight.

Ignore anyone who tells you to eat a really low calorie diet (and that includes some of the advice given in 'Vegetarian Slimming' - we love it for the recipes, not the advice). You won't stick to it for very long. The best thing is to find out how many calories a day you need to maintain your current weight, then eat less. There's a table in the 'Calorie, Carb and Fat Bible' (see Fat Fighters Book Club) or you can use the free trial at Weightloss Resources to find out your 'maintenance calories'.

Once you know this, how much less than this should you eat? These figures show the approximate weight loss you can expect by eating less than your maintenance calories ....

250 less = losing 0.5 lb a week
500 less = losing 1lb a week
750 less = 1.5 lb a week
1000 less = 2 lb a week

Don't aim to lose more than 1 - 2 lb a week on average (some weeks you may lose more, some weeks less, but it's the average loss that really matters). Slowly, steadily and healthily are the keys to losing weighsuccessfullyly and keeping it off in the long term.

I wouldn't recommend eating less than 1500 calories a day, either, particularly if you have a lot of weight to lose. Many people find that they can usually eat around 1500 cals a day without feeling hungry, if they eat a sensible and balanced diet.

Ananova reports that a Brazilian fashion show has featured larger models. This is good. Shame about the clothes, tho.

Aquarobics tonight. Nearly didn't go. Had a fun time in a last minute omg I nearly forgot dad's birthday shopping panic, which put me in a reet bad mood. Got home from that, got on bike to go to pool, and found out my brakes weren't working. Arse. R tried to fix it but no joy. I thought of just staying home but went (late) to aquarobics anyway. Glad I did, tho I didn't enjoy it as much as usual after all the mither before hand.

If you do swimming or aquarobics, it's worth getting a proper cozzie. Got an Allen's Swimwear brochure through the post this morning, which was nice. Might get meself a new cozzie when I've lost a bit more weight. It's hard for big girls to get proper cozzies in the high street. Most sports shops only sell them in small sizes, and big girl shops only sell sitting around and occasionally doing a bit of paddling type costumes. So hurrah for mail order and double hurrah for on-line shopping. Allen's stock lots of costumes in bigger sizes. Look for descriptions like 'masters' or 'classic' - that's swim cozzie code for "will fit normal women not just 14 year old olympic hopefuls". Master/classic cozzies come in larger sizes and often have medium or even low cut legs, useful for those of us who don't want to have to have a Brazilian just to go swimming. Several styles also have build in support for the chest area, handy for the top heavy among us.

Wednesday night is ER night, and ER night means popcorn. Fortunately Marjorie has trained me to enjoy plain popcorn ie home popped with a teeny bit of oil and a little salt. Satisfies those salty snack cravings nicely.

Marjorie's Tip For Today: Set a Target

You need to set yourself a target weight to work towards. You might chose a weight you’ve been happy at in the past. Or, if like Clazza you’ve been a bit of a whale your whole adult life, you could chose by working out what weight would give you a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) for your height. Whatever weight you chose, make sure it’s a healthy one for you – anorexic stick insect is so not a good look.

For more on healthy weights and healthy weight loss, (including online BMI calculators) , take a look at the BBC’s health site and the British Diatetic Association’s Weight Wise site.

Went swimming tonight. For some reason only half the pool was roped off into lanes, ie half as much 'proper' swimming space as usual. It was nice to see the Manchester and District Ladies' Slow Breastroking Club (incorporating the The More I Splash The Faster I'll Go Gentlemen's Freestyle Association) out in force and fully demonstrating their motto Lane Discipline Is For Other People. Hats off to them for the nochalant disregard with which they regally swim 3 abreast in each lane, untroubled by the 'please swim anti-clockwise' notices. Why use one lane for swimming slowly in when you can use all 3? I know that Marjorie also admires their dedication to style and beauty, particularly the way the ladies never fail to apply fresh make-up before entering the pool, and the gents annoint themselves with aftershave, giving other pool users the joy of swimming through slicks of Brut. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

Actually I'm not a swimming snob, really I'm not. Some people swim slower than me and some people swim faster than me. S'OK. It's thoughtless selfish lane hogging bastards I can't stand. And I'm not just in a bad mood because I can't master lesson one of Total Immersion. Not at all. Grrrrrrrrr.

hurrah, I made it back from Biscuitland without having a biscuit. Being a good fatfighter girl, I took my own sarnies and an apple, and declined the biscuits. Fortunately I already had my coat on when someone arrived with a huge box of Indian sweets. I utterly adore them, but they seem to be made principally of sugar and condensed milk, with extra sugar, and I would not not not have been able to stop at just one. So I listened to Marjorie's voice in my head telling me to be good and ran out the door before I could think for myself.

Marjorie's Tip For Today: First Things First

Before going on a diet, starting an exercise regime or making other major lifestyle changes, speak to your doctor – particularly if you have a lot of weight to lose and/or currently lead a pretty sedentary life. Your doc may also be able to give you support and advice, or refer you to someone who can, such as a dietician or practice nurse.

part of my 'new me' strategy is doing more excercise. Tonight I planned to either go swimming or to aquarobics. But stuff happened and I didn't do either. And I am going somewhere where there will be biscuits tomorrow. Marjorie's gonna kill me.

Marjorie's Tip For Today: Getting Started

calories eaten less than calories used = weight lost
calories eaten more than calories used = weight gain

and there, in a nutshell, is why people like Clazza are such lard arses. They eat too much and sit around on their arses all day long. The only way for these poor souls to become slim and gorgeous like me is to eat less and do more. Simple! well it is for me but the likes of Clazza need more help, so I will be sharing my top tips with her and you.

I started making a serious effort to get fitter and healthier and slimmer on 9th Jan this year. I knew I was a bit overweight (OK very overweight) but I didn't know just how much, till I accidentally stepped on some scales. My weight is in the top right of this blog, I still can't actually say the figures out loud, it's too horrible. What was worst of all was calculating my body mass index and finding out I fell into the 'morbidly obese' category. Waaaaaah. So, in consulation with Marjorie, I set out to tackle this. So far I have lost 1 stone (14 lb) in the first 3 weeks hooray but as Marj keeps reminding me, weight loss can be quick at the start of a diet but slows down as you go on. So I don't expect to keep losing at this rate - 1 to 2 lb a week is the rate I am aiming at.

Inspired by my dear friend, mentor, role model and style icon, FatFighter-in-Chief Marjorie Dawes, I am trying to following her shining example and Get Slim the Fat Fighters Way. Marjorie has kindly agreed to aid me in my fight, and will be giving me the benefit of her years of Fat Fighting experience. She has also graciously agreed that her gems of wisdom may be shared with you, the interweb reading public, so that you too may fight fat the Marjorie way. Look out for Marjorie's tip for today, coming soon to this blog.